10 reasons why you should get a Russian mate

1. Alright, Suka?

You obviously have heard Russian accent depiction in movies, right? And guess what… It’s true! They have this really awdorkable accent and even If they sound a little bit rough, you get to hear random phrases as ‘Alright, suka’ or ‘Alright by(i)tch’. A true panties’ pooper, that is.

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2. The Russian man of Steel

Those bastards are loaded!!! My mate’s dad probably owns an empire or few,  but not only she has pockets full of cash, she also works for the mula herself. Russian princesses have it hard, I guess. But that way they are totally not spoiled and are always ready to offer a cup of coffee when a broke friend is in need (that broke friend would be me). I would cape them as real life heroes.

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3. High Tolerance Bars

Once you befriend them, you are guaranteed to have a good friend for the long run and the one who would help you whenever you are in trouble. You can even act like a dickhead or call them names, they will still accept all parts of you, whether they are wicked bad or overly good. Putin, I bet you are the one to blame. I mean, didn’t the guy sort of raised the tolerance levels?

4. Make you a better person

It happens that they are insecure about their skills or capabilities and that would be yall time to shine. Be a fucking verbal hero, support the shit outta them. I mean, it is your time to be the Martin Luther King and go yada yada yada so they could start believing in themselves a little bit more. It’s a win win situation.

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5. Drink like a baws

They either drink or not. No stopping them, once booze is in their hands. Which is a good company for an Easter European like myself. You can go real wild in a Russian’s company, but be careful as they get a lil bit aggressive, once drunk, and can start hitting you for no reason, whatsoever.

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6. Reckless bastards

Would not advise to offer any crazy ideas to them as they are ‘yes’ people. Russians rarely say no, even to the craziest offers, which can be of a danger. Physical and mental!

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7. Suck at games

They suck at games, whether that would be pool or foosball, so make sure he or she is not in your team! If you have Russian as the opponent in a game, your skills (even if you are just a beginner) will definitely shine through.

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8. Deep converse(r)s

You can have a good laugh with the Russian, but they are also very deep people that are capable of discussing various soulful topics and are opinionated in various spectrums.

9. Time recorders

If you love having pictures as  precious time memos, no worries – Russians are almost professional photographers. You eating, walking, s(h)itting – all of it will be captured. Just to prove a point, for this post I used my mate’s pics.

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10. They are fucking gorgeous

No need to explain, the motherfuckers are pretty. Who am I kiddin, they are absolutely gorgeous. Just look at that…

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Just look at it!

Have to say, having such mate is definitely a healthy option.

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3 thoughts on “10 reasons why you should get a Russian mate”

  1. Where the hell do I sign up for a Russian mate? She’d be all like, hell-raising and shit, yet beautiful and classy, too, but then she’d be like: don’t bust my balls, or I’ll smash yours … Et cetera.

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