Tag Archives: students

Confessional: the chase

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The first time I saw Maya was in the rundown Camel pub, close to the sugar loaf walk passage. It was one of those weird sights and I surely don’t know why I stopped chugging my Brandi and looked her way.The girl wasn’t anything in looks, yet somehow appeared charming with the way she was carrying herself. Even if I make this sound as a breath-stopper, really there was nothing exceptional in the scene. Her tied-up brown, greasy hair and drab pants combined with the hoodie, of course, non-lighten roll-up in her mouth and head facing down, left me perplexed up until the moment she approached Adam for a lighter. She didn’t even look at me properly, simply said a hurried thanks and gave a short glance. Nothing happened, but it left me staring her way. I was smoking at that time. Vanishing second in a row Marlboro red, when Adam has never even taken up the habit. Her approaching him instead of myself, made me question. It made me think about trivial subjects as whether that was an issue of confidence or something else,  as arrogant is to admit, I am more aesthetically pleasing than my friend.

That was it. The first meeting just left these queries which disappeared not long after another few glasses. Later on I found out that she never even remembered our first exchange of glances or even second, in fact. For a self-loving human like myself it was surely a stab in the gut; surprisingly it didn’t make her less charming, on the contrary, she became all the more.

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Stop whining, start dissing: A modern twist to slavery

To whomever it may concern,

after disappearing for few or more weeks I am coming back with the full force, well… to admit, my force is more of a fluctuating type. Certainly, it doesn’t matter where the hell I have disappeared, but I hope that there is still someone who missed my regular beef or creative outbursts ( the big gay moment). Wow, talking about self-absorption, right?

So here I am, sitting in a brand new house (it’s more new on the abstract way), brand new area, just finished studies and have a massive, unpacked luggage of clothes and post-grad depression. The only thing that keeps me busy is hunting down the spiders (forgive, PETA) one by one from the nest they have made, probably, somewhere close to my bed. In a way I am responsible for a species population. If you’d ask me, that’s pretty ‘grande’.

Although I doubt, but does that sound similar to your experiences? My advice: fuck it.

Yes, FUCK IT! Big time.

Being part of the society, that now somewhat feels more of a rat’s trap to one’s mental stability than a structure, graduates are bound to reach the overheat from this decision-making bollocks. Being a 22 year old female, I have done a bunch of haphazard and unrelated bundle of internships and placements, which most of them haven’t even been paid. Kids, that’s called a modern twist to the slavery.

Experiencing the bitters from event planning, film-making to journalism and etc., didn’t help me to solve or find anything that a woman of my age is supposed to, within this dis-functional scheme. If what, it pushed me to add few things more to  the list ‘That’s the shit I don’t like’. You can call me names at this point, but I don’t think that switching industries with an imaginary remote is bad at all. We do it for the crappy TV shows, so why not create an allegory to the shitty, I mean psychologically shitty, life situations.

To quote T. Edison: ‘I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work’.

Although I haven’t even reached the two-digit number of failures, I can put myself somewhere in-between his shoes. By the way, that’s a very strong statement from someone who has feet phobia. What I am trying to say, If you have no definite idea of what you would like to be, don’t try to squeeze the juice out of the dried orange (mad metaphor skills). Just pick something that sounds interesting. It kinda seems like a neglected suggestion, but It is a starting point. Edisonian approach ( trial and failure) can help you to maintain sanity and take the pressure off figuring it all out.

I mean, some of us are Edisons and some are Alessandro Voltas,Henry Woodwards or Mathew Evanses (devised incandescent lamps). Some start late and some early, but the early kickoff time does not necessarily mean a stronger finish.

Take your cup, preferably with some motivational or confidence-boosting quote, drink your coffee and stop depressing ( it is also a post for myself), because dissing bitch- that’s the shit I don’t like.

*Drops the microphone*